As we approach Thanksgiving, I want to give a special thanks to my wonderful wife. She has been with me through the good times and the bad times. I love her with all my heart. God brought us together 20 years ago and I have no regrets. Looking forward to what God has in store for us the next 20 years. Thank you Rena for everything, you are the best. I love you.

I think you will like this quote, "There would be fewer divorces if the husband tried as hard to keep his wife as he did to get her."

My wife and I have been married for almost 20 years, I can honestly say that my love grows deeper for her each and every day. I would not be in the ministry without God and her. As I write this she is in Connecticut with some other pastors wives until tonight. I miss her, isn't that how a marriage should be. We should miss our spouses when they are away for a couple of days or any length of time. I love my wife and I am not ashamed to say or write that.

As we continue with quotations, verses and other devotions that can help our marriages. A pastor friend brought this out in a message recently. In the introduction he puts this in there, the goal of marriage, according to the bible is completeness, oneness and unity. The verses you can check out are Ephesians 5:25,28,31. "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. vs.31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh."

I see in the ministry these last 13 years, when it comes to marriage,a disturbing number of people who are very selfish in their marriage. Everything is how can they be happy and never think about there spouse.  We live in a very selfish world.  In reality, a marriage should be using the word "we" not always the word "I". I found this quote which I think you will like, "In the word wedding, the we comes before the I"

As I try to find material on marriage, I came across something interesting. I found an article on "Nine suggestions for an ailing marriage"  One of the nine was, Trust your mate.  Trust your spouse, even if he or she is wrong--you are right in trusting.  A marriage must be based on trust.  It cannot survive with out it. I am sure that most of us would agree on this.

What a wonderful couple of days it has been.  I was able to watch a wedding on friday night, one of my family members got married.  On saturday, I was able to perform the ceremony of an elderly couple an hour away.  No matter how old or young they are it is great to see the love that they have for each other.  My prayer for both couples is that they have many years together and a lifetime of happiness. God is good.

I really like this quote "A young man prayed, "Lord give me a wife that loves thee---for then I know she will love me."

I know that I needed a laugh for the day so I went with this quote "Some husbands lay down the law and then accept their wife's amendments."

This next quote really puts things in perspective.  "A successful marriage is built on trust--and an occasional compliment."

As we continue our devotions on the "missing ingredients", we are going to publish one on Trust or lack of trust in a marriage.  I am going to leave you with this quote, "Nothing makes a marriage rust like distrust."

We are at the end of "wrong ways" to handle marital conflict, and some of you are happy that we are finished.  I don't know about you but I have been guilty of all them in the last 20 years.  Now you know the pastor is not perfect. So here it is #10. Refusing to say, "I was wrong;I'm sorry;will you forgive me."

We are getting close to the end of "wrong ways" to handle marital conflict, and I know that each one has effected me, in wanting to change.  Each and every one of us can pray, but for some reason we choose not to.  Did we forget about the verse "Pray without ceasing".  So this brings us to #9.  Failing to seek the Holy Spirit's guidance through prayer

The eighth "wrong way" to handle marital conflict is also a popular one for husband and wives.  #8. Ignoring the problem and pretending it will go away

As we continue with "wrong ways" to handle marital conflict, this one has been going on since Adam and Eve.  We are probaly all guilty of #7. Shifting the blame and not admitting my own failure

As we deal with the next "wrong way", I have dealt with couples who have constantly brought up their spouses past failures.  The marriages usually do not last.  So here is #6. Bringing up past failures (viewing today's conflict through yesterday;s pain)

We are continuing our series of  "wrong ways" to handle marital conflict and we are about half way done.  This next one is a tough one to handle, deals with the way we talk to each other while we are having conflict.  #5.  Verbal sparring with hurtful words (trying to win an argument rather than resolve the problem)  Enjoy your Sunday.

What does day 4 bring us with our series of "wrong ways" to handle marital conflict.  I am guilty of the first three so far.  We all need to work on the way we handle conflict.  I did a bible study last night where I brought out the verses Ephesian 4:26-27, where the main idea was to "not give place to the devil."  That is a way to handle conflict.  So what is #4.  Walking away and refusing to work it out

Here we are with day 3 of our 10 "wrong ways" to handle marital conflict.  How many of us have been guilty of #3.  Emotional outbursts(adult temper tantrums)  I have a 2 year old that throws temper tantrums but some of us adults have had our emotional outbursts also.  Have you been guilty of all 3 so far, their is still time for us to change.  Don't give up now.

Here we are back for day 2 of "wrong ways" to handle conflict. I believe we all have taken part in this one.  Whether on the giving or receiving end.  2. The silent treatment(relational withdrawal)

I would like to share with you from the book "Faith Full Marriage" by Paul Chappell ten "wrong ways" to handle marital conflict.  We know that conflict in a marriage is inevitable.  It is going to happen, and we can deal with it biblically and with spiritual maturity.  In the next 10 days I am going to give you the "wrong ways" starting with the first one.  1.  Denying that a problem even exists
How many of us are already culprits with this first one.  I hope you will enjoy the next 10 days.  Leave a comment if you like.

"Where love reigns supreme, the married life will be joyful, whether in wealth or in poverty."

"Missing Ingrediant # 3-FORGIVENESS" By: Rena Frayer

Ephesians 4:32 " and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you"

Forgiveness means to treat a person as if something never happened.

Forgiveness is vital for a marriage to work.  Is it easy? Definitely not.  I know some people that have been hurt badly, and forgiveness is the last thing that they want to think about.

Jesus said, forgive as I have forgiven you.  Remember that you are not perfect, and neither is the person you married.  God doesn't view one sin worse than the other like we do.  To God, sin is sin!

I have learned in  my life that you are no good with bitterness harbouring in your heart.  Bitterness is what comes from not forgiving.  It usually brings more hurt to yourself, than the one you are angry with.  What happens is we take it out on everyone else.  Maybe the children, a coworker, or some Innocent person in our path that day.

I do believe we need to learn for everything that we go through.  God allows us to go through certain things so that we may grow in Him.  He will never leave us, nor forsake us.  I understand that forgiveness may be the last thing on your mind.  That is why you must lean on Jesus to help you. 

You cannot have a solid marriage without forgiveness. If you are struggling with forgiveness, I pray that you get the victory over it.  Remember you can have Victory In Jesus!!!!!!!!!!!

"Missing Ingredient # 3-FORGIVNESS-"By:Pastor Matt Frayer

Forgiveness: to pardon, to overlook an offense, and treat the offender as not guilty.

Ephesians 4:32 "and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as Christ"s sake hath forgiven you."

Men, this is a very hard verse to take in, especially when dealing with marriage.  I know sometimes things happen in a marriage, such as adultery, that are very hard to deal with. Forgiveness becomes very difficult. 

You have to really dig deep inside of you and ask the Lord to help.  Lets face it; He is the only one that can help you.  What happens when you don't forgive.  You get excess anger, wrath, evil speaking, and bitterness that over takes you.

Wait a minute. If we go back to verse 31 in Ephesians 4, it tells us "Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice."  I am not going to tell you that it is easy.  I am going to tell you that Jesus forgave me for all I have done in my life.  I am giving scriptures that have helped me in my own marriage.  To be honest with you, she has forgiven me probably more than I have forgiven her.

Remember, no marriage is perfect.  If you can work it out-Work it out.  Don't let "Forgiveness" be the missing ingredient in your marriage.

"Testing Our Efforts at Biblical Love"

11. "Charity beareth all things" (ICor 13:7)
Love is not rebellious in attitude.  It is submissive, willing to bear the burden of another person's failures in a relationship with you.

12.  "Charity believeth all things" (ICor 13:7)
Love is not suspicious, but trustful, not cynical.  It makes every allowance and looks for any explanation that might show the best in others.

13.  "Charity hopeth all things" (ICor 13:7)
Love is not despondent and depressed, but hopeful.  It does not give up because it has been deceived or denied.

14.  "Charity endureth all things" (ICor 13:7)
Love is unconquerable and invincible.  It can outlast any trial, reproof, or problem of life that people throw at us.

"Testing Our Efforts at Biblical Love"

7. "Charity seeketh not her own" (ICor 13:5)
love is not selfish, but self-less.

8.  "Charity is not easily provoked" (ICor 13:5)
love is not easily irritated, but even-tempered.

9.  "Charity thinketh no evil" (ICor 13:5)
love does not think the worst about people.

10.  "Charity rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in truth" (ICor 13:6)
love does not delight in the exposure of another person's faults and failures, but rejoices when a person overcomes them by obedience to the truth.

Testing Our Efforts at Biblical Love

2. "Charity is kind"(ICor 13:4)
Is is not inconsiderate of others, seeks to help, is constructive, blesses when cursed, help when someone is hurting and demonstrates tenderness.

3. "Charity envieth not" (ICor 13:4)
It is content, not jealous of another person's successes. It is not maliciously competitive.

4. "Charity vaunteth not itself" (ICor 13:4)
Love is not arrogant, but humble.  It is not haughty, but lowly in self-opinion and is gracious.

5. "Charity is not puffed up" (ICor 13:4)
Love is not boastful, but reserved. It does not show off, try to impress, or want to be the center of attention.

6.  "Charity doth not behave itself unseemly" (ICor 13:4)
Love is never rude and always courteous.

Testing Our Efforts at Biblical Love

"Charity suffereth long" Love endures offenses, is not hasty in judgments and waits for the Lord to right wrong.  (I Cor 13:4)

"THE MISSING INGREDIANT-PART 2-LOVE" By: Rena Frayer

I Corinthians 13:8  "charity never faileth..."

The King James uses the word Charity because its the deepest form of love.  Christ is our example on how we should love each other-unconditional love.  We have a tendency to put conditions on our love: like, I will love you if, or I love you when, etc.  God loves us just as we are, and we should love our husbands just as they are.

I know I don't know your husband; how he acts or what he says. I do know that nobody is perfect.  I know the person I married is imperfect and so am I.  I love him unconditionally.  I know we all wish, on occasion, that our husband would be different.  We must allow the Holy Spirit to change them, not us( not our job).  While we are praying for our husbands, we need to have an open heart, and allow the Holy Spirit to work on our imperfections.

We do all have days when love feels strained.  When you feel this way remember Christ's love for you, and follow His example.  Love our husbands the way Christ loves us.  It's days like these we need Charity-that deep love.  This is what helps us pull through.

There are vows we all said-"for better or worse, for richer or for poor, and in sickness and in health".  We need UNCONDITIONAL love!!!!!!!!!!!

"MISSING INGREDIENT-PART 2-LOVE" By:Pastor Matt Frayer

  I Corinthians 13:8 "charity never faileth..."
We know the word "charity" is a deeper part of love.  Does love end?  Do you wake up one morning and just decide, I don't love my wife?  I would have to lean to the word no.  I will say that lust is temporary, but love is eternal.

Men, how many times do you say I love you to your wife?  It is important to do this every single day of your marriage.  My in-laws have been married for almost 55 yrs.  They love each other unconditionally. 

Do you disagree or argue once in a while, well of course.  But should we stop loving her because she disagrees?  That is not how love works.If love is missing, your marriage will not last.

My love for Rena grows deeper each and every day.  Our love becomes stronger.  The Bible tells me that my love must be Christ-like.  Ephesians 5:25, "husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church, and gave himself for it." 

In closing, what if Christ's love was like our love sometimes.  Well, today I don't love her but tomorrow I will, It makes no sense.  Our Savior, Jesus Christ, loves us unconditionally (no matter what).  If His love never fails, then why should ours?

"Missing Ingredient-Part 1-Jesus Christ" By:Rena Frayer

            JOHN 3:16

Ladies, have you ever made something, only to get it all fixed and realized that you forgot an ingredient.  It sure doesn't taste right, does it?  Wee, that is how are marriages are without Jesus Christ.

The advise I give to those who are just newly married is that marriage takes Three. Jesus- you-and your spouse.  He must be first.  When you put Him first, things fall into place.

I do not believe that Pastor Matt and I would be married for 19 1/2 yrs without Jesus in our lives.  There are many times when things have come into our lives, and we survived because of Jesus Christ.  When our daughter passed away 6 yrs ago, that was a major trial.  We got through it because we leaned on Jesus.  A lot of marriages don't survive the death of a child, and its only because of Him that we did.

If there has never been a time in your life that you Trusted on Jesus to save you-now would be a great day.  A new start for a failing marriage or someone to lean on when you feel no one cares. You ask, how do I do this. 1. Admit you are a sinner (Romans 3:10).  2.  Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ; ask Him to heal your heart and He will forgive you  (Acts 16:31).  3. Confess Jesus with your mouth-Pray and tell others (Romans 10:9, 13).

If you have done today-Welcome to the Family of God.  Now begin your new walk with a changed heart.

"Missing Ingredient-Part 1-Jesus Christ" By:Pastor Matt Frayer

                                                                    JOHN 3:16


With marriage, we are looking for a recipe of Happiness, Joy, and Peace.  With any recipe, if there is an ingredient missing, it just doesn't taste right.  Chocolate chip cookies, without chocolate chips, well we have a problem.  This is the same with a marriage. If something is missing, you know what I am talking about, leads to a bad day.

For the next several weeks, I am talking about some Ingredients that we need to make a marriage work.  The first one I am going to write about is the most important of all, and that is Jesus Christ.  You must be born again.  Without Him a marriage will never have that true Joy, and you will not have that firm foundation.

In the Scriptures, Matthew 7:24-27, we read about the Wise man and the Foolish man.  One built his house upon a Rock and the other on the sand.  The Wise man represents the saved man, and the Foolish man represents the lost man.  Which one are you?  The Wise man had the right foundation, and that is because he trusted Jesus Christ.

Have you put your Faith and Trust in the Savior?  God's simple plan of Salvation 1. Admit you are a sinner (Romans 3:10). 2. Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ-ask for Forgiveness; let Him come into your heart (Acts 16:31).  3. Confess Jesus with your mouth-Tell people what you have done (Romans 10:9, 13). 

Now if you have put your Faith in Him before or just now, you have the most important ingredient in a marriage.  Without Christ we can do nothing.  Lets be on the Right Foundation today!  Jesus still saves sinners.  John 3:16, "For God so loved the World, that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life."

"Never be yoked to one who refuses to be yoked to Christ"

We are back, and I thank You for your patience.  We just spent two wonderful weeks with friends at Kingsland, GA.  We still have a desire to see marriages fixed and healed.  In any marriage you need to take a vacation.  We have come back refreshed, renewed and revived and ready to help people out in their marital journey.  In the upcoming weeks, we will be writing about the "missing ingredient", their will be about 8 weeks of this subject, ranging from Christ to perseverance.  We are so glad to be back and once again thank you for your prayers, please don't stop praying for marriages to be healed by God.

"The Word, Prayer, and the Local Church" By: Rena Frayer

                                                            -CHURCH-
Hebrews 10:25 "not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is..."

Here we go with the third part of our Biblical resources.  There is a rise these days in divorce among Christians and non-Christians.  There has also been a falling away from the church.  It use to be that church and family went together.  Now that is not so, even in Christian families.

God establishes the church, and it is mentioned several times in His Word.  Therefore, I believe that it is important.  Church has helped my family as a whole.

I hear people say, I want something to do with my family that is inexpensive.  Well, ever considered joining a local, Fundamental, New Testament church?  There is fellowship, teaching, preaching, singing, praise and worship, activities, outreach programs, etc.  The church will not save your soul, that is only done through the Blood of Jesus Christ. If you want to know more about that, please e-mail Pastor Matt or myself.

When I am going though a trial I first take it to God, then pray and the Word, and then my Christan family-my church.

Listen there is no perfect church, and if you find one-don't join-you will ruin it.  you say, Rena how dare you; no I would ruin it too.  We are an imperfect people in an imperfect world.

The Word, Prayer, and the Local Church.  Our three Biblical resources to help keep our families together.  LETS GET BACK TO CHURCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"The Word, Prayer, and the Local Church" By: Pastor Matt Frayer

Hebrews 10:25 "not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is;.."

Men, I am back with the third and final Biblical resource we need for a healthy and happy marriage.  That is the local church.

I don't know where I would be without Bible Baptist Church.  I can come here anytime to pray, have fellowship with others, and learn about the Savior.  Yes, I know that I am the Pastor, and yes I can come here anytime.  But the local church has helped my family and my marriage become stronger everyday.

Maybe your reading this and you do not attend church.  Please find a strong local New Testament church.  Maybe you have been hurt by people in a church; don't give up.  You can find one to joyfully and faithfully attend.  There is no perfect church, but we should never "forsake the assembling of ourselves together". 

I can guarantee you that going to a strong church will help your marriage.  It is something you can do together, just like reading your Bible and praying.  Please give it a try.  If you already attend church, keep on being faithful.

I read in the book by Paul Chappell, "without all three of them (the Word, Prayer, and the Local Church) your home and family life will be incomplete".  God has given these three powerful Biblical resources as weapons against an invisible enemy, who hates our families.  Men-TAKE YOUR FAMILIES TO CHURCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"The Word, Prayer, and the Local Church" By: Rena Frayer

                                                               -Prayer-
                                                              I Peter 3:7

This is part two of this devotion.  Last week we talked about the Word is a vital part of our marriage.  Today we will take time for prayer.

I don't know where I would be without prayer.  I believe in the power of prayer.  We should always be in a constant state of prayer-"pray without ceasing". 

When trials come in our marriage, prayer is the life line that we need.  It's our communication with God.  What about using it as a time for Praise.  Praise God for your spouse and family.

Have you ever prayed together as husband and wife?  You should have a set time, beside meal times,  for prayer together.  The family that prayers together: stays together.

This week I challenge you to take time to pray together, with your spouse (instead of complaining).  Every time you are tempted to complain about him, pray for him.

"The Word, Prayer, and the Local CHurch" By: Pastor Matt Frayer

                                                            -Part 2-
I Peter 3:7 "...that your prayers be not hindered."

Men, I am back with part two from our last devotion.  I would like to talk about prayer in your marriage.  I Peter 3:7 "...that your prayers be not hindered."

I will always be believe in the power of prayer.  The Lord has healed the sick and has saved marriages because of prayers to Him.

Now I ask you a simple question and that is, when is the last time you prayed for with your wife?  That is a good question for us all.  My wife and I pray together throughout the day, not just at meal times.  Before we go to bed we pray for things that we are going through and for others.

Men, as I have said before, that no marriage is perfect.  But without prayer, in the marriage, there will be struggles.  Prayer is the second Biblical resource that we can use in marriage.

Maybe you never prayed with your wife.  Please try it today.  I can guarantee it is going to work.  Prayer is the answer.

Before I close, I would like to add one more verse.  I Thess 5:17, "pray without ceasing".  Take time and pray today!

"The Word, Prayer, and the Local Church" By: Rena Frayer

Hebrews 4:12 "for the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword."

There are three Biblical resources that will help your marriage.  Today I am focusing on the first one-the Word.

The Word of God must be a vital part of our lives.  We need need to be reading everyday.  It has words of wisdom-our instruction manual.  Personal time with God is how we grow; its how God speaks to us.

Not only do Pastor Matt and I have our personal time with God, we also read together.  I love to have him read me the Bible.

If you don;t have anytime with God, I challenge you to start today.  Do a 30 day challenge.  I can guarantee once you start, you will never want to stop.

It will strengthen your marriage.  You will gain wisdom from above to face problems that arise.

FALL IN LOVE WITH GOD'S WORD.

"THE WORD, PRAYER, AND THE LOCAL CHURCH" By: Pastor Matt Frayer

Hebrews 4:12 "for the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword..."

This week I would like to give you one of three Biblical resources that will help your marriage.  I found these three resources from a book on Parenting by Paul Chappell.  I thought that they go well for the subject of marriage as well.

Men I am asking you to get into the Word of God, Bible, or Scriptures.  Whatever term you would like to use.  The Bible has the answers to all of life's questions.

Try reading to your wife.  We have benefited from reading the scriptures together.  The whole idea of devotions is to have a great, happy, and wonderful marriage.

I challenge you too SEEK the Word of God (Isaiah 34:15), SEARCH the Scriptures daily (Acts 17:11), STUDY the Bible (II Tim 2:15), and SATURATE yourselves with the Word or MEDITATE (Psalms 1:2). Whether you are newlyweds or been married for 50 years, I guarantee that the Word of God will help you through your marital journey.

Men, I am asking you to please "SEEK ye out of the book of the Lord, and read:..."

Quote for the Day

"A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers"

"Neither Give Place to the Devil" By; Rena Frayer

                                                              Ephesians 4:27

What does this title mean?  After research, we found it means-don't give the Devil an opening.  Wow, does that open a can of worms!

What have we done or said in our marriages to give Satan an opening?  I am so guilty of this in many areas.  Satan's desire is to destroy the family unit.  He will do this any way he can.  Try not to do things that would give him an opening.

We need to guard ourselves from certain things.  Things we do, see, or say(or even think).  What do we out in our minds with the things we read or watch on TV?  Are they wholesome or garbage?  My mom use to say, "garbage in-garbage out".  It's true.   What are we saying to each other.  Is it kind, mean, or hurtful?

Lets put on the Whole Armour of God, not just a few pieces.  It will help us against the Devil when he attacks-and he will attack!

"Neither Give Place to the Devil" By Pastor Matt Frayer

                                                         EPHESIANS 4:27

What does that mean, Neither give place to the Devil?  Men, I looked and looked to get a good answer.  I finally did.  It means, do not give him a opening.  How many times in your marriage have we let the Devil get the best of us.

We allow him to take advantage of our thoughts, words, attitudes, and our actions.  The Devil does not play fair.  He is a tempter, distracter, liar, and a deceiver.  When we have a bad attitude, we give the Devil a opening.  You give him an inch, and he will take a mile.  One little opening and he will try to destroy your marriage.

My wife and I are planning on taking jars and putting 50 pennies in each one.  Each and every bad or rotten thing we say to each other, we have to give them one of our pennies.  We are also doing this with the children.  I wonder who will end up with the most pennies.

We have to guard out tongues, control our attitudes, and watch our actions.  One wrong move, and the Devil sees an opening-once that happens we have a problem.

What I am trying to say is, Please Men, do not give him an opening.  Put on the Whole Armour of God, and men Put on that Shield of Faith.  Do not let the Devil destroy your marriage.
.

Quote for the day

"Marriage is not so much finding the right person as it is being the right person." Charles W. Shedd

"Right Words" by:Rena Frayer

James 3:8-10, vs 10"out of the same mouth proceeded blessing..."

As I think about the right words my mind goes to encouragement, positivity, and love.  Right words go a long way.  I love to hear right words from my husband. 

I have been on a weight loss journey, and I wouldn't have come as far as I have without my husbands right words.  My husband has given me words of encouragement, that keep me going and motivated.

Make sure that as you give right words, you also have action to follow.  Saying I love you means alot, but without action it means nothing.

Positivity goes a long way, even if its a little positivity.  When we wake up, say I love you.  When we leave, say I love you. When we go to bed, say I love you.  But make sure you show it by your actions.

God wants us to have a happy and healthy relationship with our spouses.  One way to start that is with right words.

"Right Words" by Pastor Matt Frayer

James 3:8-10, vs 10-"out of the mouth proceeded blessing..."

As I write this devotional, on Mother's Day, I have been careful to use the right words.  You may ask, what are the right words?  They are: I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, you look beautiful, or maybe I am here for you. 

Men, I know we are usually of few words.  We sometimes don't communicate well.  For the sake of your marriage, please try.  Remember, we are not perfect but we can say nice things.

Here is something I would like to share with you.  My wife had her third hernia repair surgery.  I thought I was going to loose her for a bit.  We decided to live a more healthy life style and set goals for weight loss.  She had reached her first weight loss goal, and I told her how proud I was of her.  I truly am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I have tried to encourage her each and every day.

Men, we can use our words of comfort and encouragement.  We do not have to use words that hurt.  Try saying positive words or "the right words" this week and truly mean it.  I guarantee you will be on the right track for a healthy and happy marriage.

Quote for the Day

"Never speak loudly to each other unless the house is on fire."

Quote for the Day

"Try Praising you wife even if it does frighten her at first."

"IDLE WORDS" BY:Rena Frayer

Matthew 12:36, 37 "But I say unto you, that every idle word that men shall speak, They shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. for by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned."

Idle- of no account, useless, vain, unprofitable and thoughtless.

How many of us have been on the receiving end of idle words, and how many of us have been on the giving end?  I don't like to be on either side.  Idle words have no use in our vocabulary.  Whether I am the giver or receiver of idle words, I feel horrible.  There is no use for thoughtless words at all.

I know that it is our human nature to lash back, when we are on the receiving end.  The Bible tells us in Proverbs 15:1, "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger".  It is hard to argue with yourself.  When we choose, and I use the word choose because it is a choice, not to lash back we honor God.  We are following His commands.

Homes that are loud and full of idle words are unhappy homes.  We need to have more useful, encouraging, and loving words.  What can we say to our husbands today that will uplift him?  What will make him feel loved?  Lets put idle words from our lips.  Lets honor God today and everyday.

If you have used idle words, confess them before God and MOVE ON.  Leave the past behind.  Today is a new day.

Tip-write him a love letter

"IDLE WORDS" BY; Pastor Matt Frayer

Matthew 12:36, 37 "But I say unto you, that every idle words that men shall speak, They shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.  for by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned."

First off, what does the word IDLE mean: of no account, useless, vain, unprofitable and thoughtless.  Men, how many times have you said to your wife things that were useless; words that we soon regret as soon as they are spoken?  I lost track along time ago on how many words I said that were unprofitable to her.

I would like to tell you about a word that we should take out of our vocabulary, and that word is DIVORCE.  We are so quick to lash back and say that word.  Lets face it, society has made it so simple for us to get one.  Just look in your local paper, its right there.

I have been in your shoes, and have said it.  But that is one word I had to eliminate from my vocabulary.  Words are either going to make or break a marriage.  Often the only difference between a happy or troubled home are the words that are said.

If you have said idle words, the Lord wants you to confess them and ask for forgiveness.  We must all stand before the Judgment Seat of Christ.  Let our words be JUSTIFIED and not CONDEMNING.  In closing, pleasant words will produce a sweet and healthy home.

Quote for the day

"Successful marriage is always a triangle: a man, a woman, and God."

Quote for the day

"God is the third party in marriage that can make it work"

"Leave and Cleave" by Rena Frayer

Gen 2:24 "Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."

Cleave-Unite, strongly attached.

Ladies-when we get married, the Bible tells us that we are to be ONE.  Many times we involve so many outside influences such as family, friends, co-workers, etc.  The one we need to involve is God.  God should be the the head of our marriage.  If He is, the rest will fall into place. 

It is okay to have some Godly person to go to for advice, but make sure its biblical advice.  Sometimes, we are just looking for someone to agree with us.

Also, lets make sure we are the kind of wife that our husband wants to cleave to.  We can push our husbands away by our attitudes.  We should be the kind of wife that our husbands want to come home to.  Make our house a "Happy Home".  Ever hear the saying, "if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy".  Well there is alot of truth in that.  Attitude is everything!!!!! 

So lets strive to have a home that our husbands are proud of and want to come home to.  Lets be one with God as the center of our marriage.

"Leave and Cleave" by Pastor Matt Frayer

Gen 2:24 "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."

Cleave-Unite, Be strongly attached

I am back again for week 2 of these devotions.  I thank the Lord most of all, but I also thank you for your response to these devotions.


I know the first one might have been mild and lengthy, but now we are going to get a more convicting devotion.  Here we go!

How many people are suppose to be included in a marriage? Is is 6, 8, or 15.  The answer is, your never gonna guess it, but the answer is 3.  God, Husband, and Wife.  The Bible tells us to Leave mom and dad, and to Cleave to our wife, and they shall be one flesh. 

Why are marriages declining and going the opposite direction that God had intended?  It is because there is too much outside interference.  You have everybody telling you what you need to do, and before you know it, you have a riff in your marriage.

Now don't get me wrong, I believe that you ought to "honor your mother and father", but now you two are the ones who need to work things out between yourselves.  In the 19 years that we have been married, my in-laws have not once interfered in our marriage.  They live right across the street too.  Make the marriage work by being one flesh, one accord, one mind, and always working together.

Husbands, quite being a mamas boy and cleave (be close-be one) with your wife.  Wives, do the same thing with your husbands.  Be ONE-not 5, 6, or more.

"The Help Meet" by Rena

Gen 2:18 "It is not good that man should be alone, I will make him an help meet for him."

God made us ladies to be a Help Meet for our husbands.  This is God's plan.  What are we to help him with?  Well, anything that he needs help with.  I walk beside my husband, not ahead or behind.  We work together, in unity.  I try to encourage him and lift him up.  The more confidence he has, the better husband, father, Man if God he becomes.  If I tear him down, well lets just say its not a happy home.

As a Help Meet I am to do whatever he needs, so that he can better do the will of our Heavenly Father.  Matt and I try to help, not hinder each other.  Are we perfect? Absolutely not.  Ask your husband, "what can I do for you?".  In return, your husband will do the same to you.

My mom always said, "treat your man like a king, and he will treat you like a queen". If your thinking, ya that doesn't work, well you tell her that.  She has been my father's Help Meet for 54 yrs now.  What an example to follow.

So, try this week to be a Help Meet, and do not be a Hinder Meet.  What a blessing you will receive.

"The Help Meet" by Pastor Matt

Gen 2:18 "It is not good that ,man should be alone, I will make an help meet for him."

Helper-companion
Meet-fit, a suitable helper

I am by no means an expert when it comes to marriage, but I know I would not trade in the last 19 years for anything.  As I start these devotionals, my goal is to help people out in their marriage journey.  I am disturbed at the statistics of the divorce rate. Half of all marriages, one third of all Christian Marriages end in divorce.  I am not going to solve our problems in the first devotion, but I will do the best I can.

 Gen 2:18, God saw that man needed a Help Meet.  If it wasn't for my wife helping me out in the ministry, children, marriage, or anything I would not be writing this devotional.  I see husbands being mean, disrespecting, and treating their wives as a second class citizen.  I always heard that the wife is to not walk behind or ahead, but beside her husband-Gen 2:21-23.  Couples should want to help each other out in the home or with the children.  I help my wife out with everything, but the dishes.  I am working on myself in that area.

How can a marriage work?  By doing what God intended early-to help each other out.  If you are reading this today, and your struggling with this issue (weather your a husband or a wife).  I am asking you to ask God for you to be a Help Meet-not a Hinder Meet.  Lets get started on the right foot.  Ask your spouse, "what can I do to help you?".  You will put a smile upon their face.  So husbands get off the couch, and wives get off the computer and help each other.